The Evolution of Hemlines & Economy....

The Business Insider Hemline Index rose to 26.7% after the New York Fashion Week, concluded last month.

Analysts say that the Hemline index rises when the Hemline gets shorter. 80% of the designers showcased shorter skirt lengths and dresses.

Another research had postulated that the economic growth is inversely proportional to the hemline length and vice versa. It means that the hemline length grow shorter when the economy rises.

What’s the co-relation? 

Let’s roll back & peep in to the Stone-Age era and the laws of attraction then.
Women preferred stronger men with muscular strength to partner with. The reason was security of self and the offspring and proliferation of dominant genes to the next generation. Women attracted stronger men by exposing the hips and the breasts in distinct ways. That became an art and the science of attraction which were then translated in to Laws (eg. Kama Sutra). These laws define the sexual behavior of men and women today.

If applied to the modern world; women, by default, seek security from men which in turn come from power and money, which again are co-related. Shorter Hemlines are again designed to attract men and women choose these men on the basis of their wealth and the socio-economic status to gain.

More the money in the market, more the availability of such men, thus shorter the Hemlines.
Does this really describe how the Hemlines are adapted and evolved down the ages? A topic to be researched more…….

A journey to the Window Seat

Push yaar, Push harder. There is space in push push  push….. The first day I boarded the train I mistook myself in the Maternity home, voice over of a nurse asking someone in labor pain to push harder. Hushhh man! I was just done managing to settle myself on the edge of my shoe on the mercy of the gravitational force and the jerks of the train & PUSH of the fellow commuters waiting for bigger surprises.

Believe me, if you wanna feel limbless (and virtually bodyless) please travel in a Mumbai local train, absolutely any route; central, western or harbor. The only thing that ensure you are alive is your heartbeat. You may love to press the stress ball when in a bad mood (even in a good), but how when you yourself be the one. Lets me instigate the classy journey, where the aim is to achieve the window seat of the second class compartment of the Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus aka CST (name changed from Victoria Terminus but the queen still resides on the top of the UNESCO declared heritage site) bound local train. We have all been through the Western suburbs’ blues; lets take this harbor line as a new experience.

It all starts at Panvel, where the people (read Leopards) in thousands are ready to leap and pounce upon the red monster which arrives like a lousy old man on the station. The window seat here is the princess and all the warriors stamp, clomp, jam, push, dodge and in extreme cases bruise and batter themselves to win her. Ultimately a few destined who really take some stiff measures like boarding the train from the beginning of the platform or boarding from the opposite side of the platform or squeezing some extra time and acquiring the seat from one station behind, Khandeshwar.

 In no time the old lousy man picks up speed and starts running like a 16 year old athlete in Olympics, Dhadag dhadag, dheee, Dhadag dhadag. Now at the next station these peaceful beings are disturbed by the other fellow commuters and their numbers keep on increasing till Belapur-CBD where major intake is swallowed by the monster.  Then sounds like “Ae Thoda andar chalo”, Dhakka maaro na, Arre main latak raha hoon clubbed with abuses (no specific person) are thrown like a fisherman’s net post which the passengers realize that some room should be made till the point that they again realize that there is really no room other than to amalgamate in to each other which in a mean time they do. Then you hear other voices like 1 ya 2 kadam aage chalo.

In the mean time the train reaches Nerul & the triumph moment comes. Someone from the window seat suddenly gets up realizing that he has to alight at Nerul. The man in the aisle of the aisle of the two benches flings his million dollar happy and relieved smile. But the man who was relieved till now has to fight his way towards the door. Abruptly he transforms himself in to the gel character like the one from Monsters V/s aliens and paves his way out to the door bagging some angry verses and abuses like “Saala pehle nahi samajhta kya?” , “Kahan kahan se aa jate hai”, “Abbe pehele soyatha kya” and many more.

Soon Vashi comes with the slogans of andar chalo deep from the bellies. I’ve never heard the inquilab zindabad one that loud. Some one from inside says, “Pehle baburao ko andar lo”. Oh my God and then starts the real time drama that elevates to abuses and then, “Haath toh laga ke dikha”, “Kya Karega tu haath lagae gat oh?”. “Tu kya Karega re” This sentence is repeated by both of them for a couple of times when someone interrupts. By the time its Mankhurd and a considerable amount vacates but at the same time boards in.

Till then the window seats are vacated by the previous occupiers and the smile and pride acquired by the fellow who occupy it is really measureable.  The real climax (read orgasm) is attained at Kurla. With a single thrust people burst out like a million sperms ejaculating at a single go, permitting the stale imprisoned air out with the blow of fresh air in and a relief. This I would call real collective orgasm achieved without sex. WOW. 

Now the ones who are left behind slowly make their way to the window seat as station by station passes and the train reaches Wadala. Post that life is simple. By the time Sandhurst road approaches the desire for the window seat is gone and that for the footboard increases. Finally again the monster plays an old man act of walking to the stations and the remaining sperms are disbursed in the second minor explosion.

So any new comer who is planning to travel by this route, prepare yourself for the jiggity ride, adapt yourselves and evolve to the Window Seat phenomenon.

Happy Journey…………………….

Iss-Q mein jeena

I saw my friendly neighbor’s son, Raghu, every day queuing up for the bus at the depot. By now the whole staff at the depot knew him well with his first, middle and last name, with the details of his curriculum and a lot of stuff. I always wondered and thought why Raghu is so dumb! When everyone knows him there why did he lined up early morning for the bus when he can just say hi to the fellow in the uniform and avail any seat he want anytime. One day I decided to spare some time and have a nice discussion to teach this lad how ‘Jugaad” works in India.

On the following Sunday, I called up Raghu for breakfast to give him some “gyan” about how much “Jugaadu” he should and can be. Here is the conversation below:

Hey Raghu, Good Morning! You are very punctual dude.

Thanks dada.

So dude, howz college? How do you manage time attending all the stuff including your GF yaar?

Oh, that’s not that tough you know! Just a matter of prioritizing your priorities.

Raghu, I see you arrive every morning punctually at the bus depot. Why do you need to come early, wait in the queue when you have such good relations with the staff in there! Dude, learn to use the JUGAAD formula. This is what gonna help you in the long run. This world works on it. Time is equal to money in this city.

He listened to all the GYAN I was pouring with gleaming eyes.

Then he came up. Dada, your Generation till now has been running the jugaad formula, bestowing favors to the known ones and pushing a plate of Hard Times to the unknown or the ones who is not related or concerned to the authorities showering favors. Have you ever realized that all the Human beings have same needs, irrespective of their PR status and their relation building skills? Where does it lead to?

Lemme tell you where does it lead!

It leads to the chunk of corrupt masses, the one who exchange favors, blending and molding the laws.

It leads to shower of wants to the unwanted and deprival of needs of the needy. It leads to imbalance, injustice in the society.

It leads to hatred from the ones who don’t have this heck of a jugaad to the one who has a jugaad.

It leads the future generation to develop a skill called Jugaad even there where its unnecessary.

It leads to lazy, unscrupulous generation which has been the basement of all the scams.

It leads to thoughts being put up to legalize corruption with the saying, “Yahan toh Aisa Hi Chalta Hai”.

It leads to spoiling the habit of hard work which should be imbibed in the youth.

I can skip the lines and the queues to save a few minutes in the day, but do I really utilize those for some fruitful work, atleast for myself! What do I really do saving the time from the queue? Spoil my habit of being a good citizen and then setting examples for the people behind me to do Jugaad with the staff which in turn starts expecting some CHAI PANI for people to skip the queue!

Dada I don’t want myself to be grinded in these wheels of corruption. Atleast if I start now, my future generation would be free from it. I really don’t need your Jugaad!

Zip mouthed, spell bound, stunned, etc. Nay, these words can’t express my expressions at the time. But one thing was for sure; I knew what my new year resolution should be.

His formula “Iss-Q mein jeena, Iss-Q mein marna” was far much better than my Jugaad. I regained the memory of the song from Mughal-e-Azam……..